Men are struggling

Many men are struggling…struggling with stress, anxiety, depression. And too often they feel they cannot say a word about it, because from a young age men are told to be strong, to cope, to manage… and to keep going no matter what,” said Graham Ellis, from UNISON's national disabled members committee, who brought a motion for targeted support to improve men’s mental health at the union's national delegate conference.

“Men don’t ask for help. They don’t speak openly about how they feel and instead they carry it alone. The result is devastating. We see men less likely to seek support, more likely to reach crisis point and tragically, statistics show, far more likely to die by suicide.”

Every week, 135 people in the UK take their own lives and three-quarters of those who die by suicide are men. In 2023, more than 5,300 men and boys died by suicide – that is 14.5 deaths a day. 

“Behind every one of those statistics, is a colleague, a friend, a father, a son. While people of all genders experience mental health problems, stigma and gender stereotyping means men’s mental health issues often go unnoticed,” continued Graham. “Society norms make it harder for men and boys to admit they are struggling to cope.

“Men’s mental health is shaped by long hours and relentless workloads, by job insecurity and workplace pressures. In so many of our public services, they are expected to cope, expected to deliver, expected to hold everything together. Where’s the support? This is where we must step in. 

“Men face specific barriers when it comes to mental health. If we don’t actively include men, we risk leaving them behind. And leaving people behind is not what this union is about.”

John Gray, supporting the motion on behalf of the NEC, said: “Like many people, too many people at this conference, I speak from personal experience of the impact of mental health matters. I’ve lost two male family members to suicide, so I know how serious this issue can be and why we must get this right. 

“The NEC recognises the scale and urgency of mental health. We all want to create a safe online space for members, but we need to be aware of the responsibilities that go with creating such a space. It will require robust safeguarding and clear support pathways, especially when members may be vulnerable or in crisis. We cannot afford to get this wrong. 

“We need to commit to safe, meaningful support, delivered well, with the right protections in place and accessibility built in so that it can be accessed by all our members.”

Jeanette Lloyd, from Derbyshire branch, said: “For too long, stereotypes have told men to stay strong and to carry everything alone. 

“This motion will raise awareness, strengthen support across branches and make mental health a core part of what our union stands for. We need to keep breaking down those old barriers of what it means to be a man and that asking for help is not seen as weakness, but as courage. Men’s mental health, is not a men’s issue, it is an issue for all of us.”

Another delegate added, “I am a straight, white, male social worker. The same patriarchal structures which privilege us in many ways, silence us when it comes to men’s mental health. We’ve heard about the rise of hostile online places like the manosphere, that put men and women against each other. 

“It starts with us – recognising that mental health and the global epidemic of misogyny and violence is harming people. We need alternative spaces for men that model healthy masculine norms.

“With a friend I created Manspace, a men’s mental health community. Men have come to us from the end of a rope and are now thriving. Men come to us who just need a space to be. We cry together, laugh together, meditate together and find our own expressions of masculinity as a brotherhood. Most importantly, we learn to listen and be a safe space for men.”

Muhammed Abdenel, supporting on behalf of local government branch, added: “I suffer from severe mental health issues. In my own culture and across many African and Asian communities, mental health is treated as a strict taboo. We are taught to hide our struggles behind a wall of silence, as it’s a sign of weakness, but that weakness, is costing lives.

“When culture taboos force you into isolation, a safe place to connect with others becomes an absolute lifeline.”

The motion committed UNISON to:

• explore the creation of an online space where men struggling with their mental health can discuss and share their experiences. Also to make members aware of appropriate spaces provided by other organisations. 
• a campaign to raise awareness of mental health issues, including a programme of webinars.
• the update of UNISON’s mental health guides to recognise the different experiences of men.
• working with UNISON college to include a section on men’s mental health in all mental health training.